The Democratic Party — the same outfit that spent the last decade telling you that straight white Christian men are the source of every problem in human civilization — now admits it needs one of those guys to win the White House in 2028.
You absolutely cannot make this stuff up.
According to Axios, top Democratic strategists have been whispering a “fraught” confession “in group chats, at cocktail parties and increasingly in public.” The confession? “It has to be a white guy.” Multiple strategists said some version of this. At cocktail parties. In Washington, DC. While sipping whatever organic fair-trade kombucha those people drink instead of beer.
Let’s pause and savor this moment, shall we? This is the party that built an entire religion around “dismantling whiteness.” They created DEI offices in every federal agency, every Fortune 500 company, and every university in America specifically designed to discriminate against straight white Christian men. They told us we had “privilege” that needed to be checked. They said the future was “intersectional.” They ran two consecutive presidential campaigns on the premise that putting a woman in the Oval Office was more important than putting a competent person there.
And now they need a white dude. Funny how that works.
The best part of this whole saga is Kamala Harris’s memoir, “107 Days,” in which she openly admits she wanted to pick Pete Buttigieg as her running mate but couldn’t — because he’s gay. Her exact words: Buttigieg “would have been an ideal partner — if I were a straight, white man.” She said the ticket of a Black woman and a gay man was “too big of a risk.”
So the woman who ran on identity politics practiced identity-politics triage on her own VP selection. She literally ranked people by their demographic categories, decided there was too much “diversity” on one ticket, and picked Tim Walz instead because he was the least offensive combination of chromosomes and melanin levels. Then she lost anyway.
Senator Ted Cruz summed it up perfectly: “Kamala couldn’t pick Buttigieg because he’s gay. She couldn’t pick Shapiro because he’s Jewish. So, in today’s crazy Dem party, she went with Walz — who’s just weird!”
Even Rachel Maddow — Rachel Maddow! — told Harris the admission was “hard to hear.” When you’ve lost the MSNBC lady, you’ve lost the plot entirely.
Then there’s Michelle Obama, who dropped this gem at a Brooklyn fashion book event in November: “Don’t even look at me about running because you all are lying. You’re not ready for a woman. You are not. So don’t waste my time.”
She said this while promoting a book about her outfits. A book. About clothes. And somehow that was the venue where she delivered the most honest assessment any Democrat has made in a decade.
Here’s the thing Michelle and the rest of them still can’t bring themselves to admit: it was never about gender or race. Hillary Clinton didn’t lose because she’s a woman. She lost because she called half the country “deplorables” and ran one of the worst campaigns in modern history. Kamala Harris didn’t lose because she’s a Black woman. She lost because she couldn’t string together a coherent sentence about grocery prices without cackling like a broken animatronic at Chuck E. Cheese.
We didn’t reject their “identity.” We rejected their incompetence. There’s a difference, but acknowledging that would require Democrats to do something terrifying — look in the mirror.
So who are the white knights (pun very much intended) riding to the rescue? Andy Beshear, the governor of Kentucky, who brags about winning “three straight statewide elections in a Trump plus-30 state.” Mark Kelly, the astronaut senator from Arizona. And of course, Gavin Newsom — the man whose state can’t keep water in its fire hydrants but who somehow thinks he should run the country.
Newsom is currently the betting favorite for the Democratic nomination. Let that sink in. The guy whose gross mismanagement turned Los Angeles into a charcoal briquette is the “electable” white Christian man they’re banking on. (We already wrote that obituary. He’s never going to be president.)
The real comedy here is that the Democratic base won’t actually let this happen. Rep. Ro Khanna is already pushing back, insisting “they have no idea what they are talking about.” AOC is lurking in the wings with her own presidential ambitions. The DEI faithful who’ve spent years being told they are the future of the party aren’t going to quietly step aside so some white guy from Kentucky can cut the line.
This is a party at war with itself. The strategists know they need a straight white Christian man. The activists would rather lose than nominate one. And the voters they abandoned — the working-class Americans of every color who just want cheap gas and safe neighborhoods — already found a home with us.
We’ll leave the light on for any Democrats who want to keep switching sides. But watching them twist themselves into pretzels trying to nominate the exact type of person they’ve been demonizing for a decade? That’s entertainment we didn’t even have to pay for.
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